My two weeks in India were both the most challenging and the most joyous weeks of my entire life. While eating enough curry to last a lifetime and showering with cold water and a bucket placed me way outside of my comfort zone, simply loving those kids filled me with an indescribable joy.
Since coming home, I have seriously struggled with finding contentment with where I am right now. In India, it was so clear that my purpose was to love the Miracle Garden orphans. I was content with my yucky food, cold showers, and dirt-covered skin because I knew that I was exactly where God wanted me. Coming home though, it was harder to identify my purpose and my place. This summer, I questioned my purpose sitting behind a desk for 40 hours a week. And this fall back at school, I have questioned my purpose on my small college campus.
It is difficult to feel used by God when you feel that you are not physically doing anything significant. Writing brochures about inactive pharmaceutical ingredients and papers about business has [strangely] not seemed nearly as meaningful as coloring pictures and playing tag in India.
I've tried writing this post a million times and every time I write it, it sounds like a big jumbled mess. But maybe to someone reading it, this post makes perfect sense. Maybe someone understands. Maybe someone can relate. Maybe someone else feels completely out of place in a place that used to feel so comfortable. Maybe that someone is you.
Through this struggle, I have realized something: whether I am on my college campus, at my workplace, or on the other side of the world, God has called me to love. The people that we encounter on a daily basis need to experience God's love just as much as the orphans all over the globe. Right now, I am called to be in Rochester, NY. Right now, I can love the people on my campus and in my city. Someday, I may very well be called to be somewhere else in the world. And when I am there, I will love those people too.
If you are in the same place in life as me, be still and know that He is God. Find joy in the fact that He has placed you here for a reason. And find peace in the knowledge that no matter where you are, God has a plan and a purpose for your life.
Sincerely,
Erin
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